-- This story is set VERY early on, probably just after first season, when Xena and Gabrielle were still in more of a teacher-student relationship (among other types of relationships). Oddly enough, this actually started out as a bit of smut, but turned into something else instead. I think it's preachy and out of character.

"Ride with me this morning," Xena said, offering a hand up. Startled, Gabrielle glanced up at Xena. Then she narrowed her eyes and moved them slowly to glance warily out of the corners over at Argo's head.

Xena chuckled. "She'll behave herself. Come on," she said, gently shaking her outstretched hand for emphasis.

Gabrielle knew why Xena was making this effort. She was tired. Yesterday had not been spent walking as was usual, but battling the soldiers of two armies that had attacked Nonamia Yet. It was a tiny place, with no more than a thirty inhabitants, a hamlet that should have been of no consequence to anybody save the people who lived there.

As they'd rode over the hill just as the attack was beginning, Gabrielle hadn't given much thought as to what this village might have that the warlords would want. She heard Xena's battle cry split the air and she charged without thought, the dry strands of grass whipping her legs as she ran.

It was a blur after that, a blur of dark, dirty faces and the clang of metal against metal. The feel of brief resistance as her staff made contact with some soft, vulnerable area. The smell of perspiration and blood, the sting of sparks on her skin as the soldiers set the thatched roofs of the houses ablaze. The moans of the wounded and the limp silence of the dying....

No one touched her during the hours of the battle. She blocked every attack and felled every soldier who crossed her path or attempted to take her by surprise.

And pushed herself to her physical limits, she realized. Gabrielle remembered thinking, as the last soldier on the field fell, brought down by her staff, as she stumbled and fell to her knees beside him her chest burning from the exertion that she would have to pay homage to the gods later that night for ending it when they did.

"Gabrielle?" Xena asked softly, pulling her abruptly back to the present. She *was* tired, more tired than she could ever remember being. Smiling up at Xena, she took her hand. "I think I'll take you up on that," she said.

With a sharp tug, Xena hoisted Gabrielle up. Swinging one leg over the horses back, Gabrielle slid behind Xena and placed her hands lightly on Xena's waist. She didn't ride like this often, generally preferring to walk beside or behind Xena as they traveled. By her reckoning Gabrielle figured she'd walked enough miles to have circled Greece several times over.

They rode in silence for several miles, Gabrielle grateful for the rest, for Argo's warm, strong back and the bright morning sun that streamed down at them intermittently through the trees overhead. They were riding through a forest glen, filled with the sharp calls of birds defending their territory or calling to nearby mates. Small furry animals, stockpiling food to protect them from the long winter months, crossed their path often, skittering nervously across before Argo's hooves could attack them.

"Xena?" Gabrielle asked after a time, weary of the silence.

"Hmmm?" Argo's reigns were grasped loosely in her left hand. Her right hand rested on her thigh, the arm brushing the chakram at her waist. It was a casual, comfortable posture that gave Xena easy access to her weapons should they unexpectedly come upon trouble.

"Why did they attack that village? I never found out."

"That's because you fell asleep almost as soon as the last soldier went down," Xena said, laughing. "I knew you were tired because you didn't even stay awake for dinner."

"Nah, I was just trying to get out of the cleanup," Gabrielle teased in return, causing Xena to chuckle again.

"I'll have to remember that," she said.

"So why did they attack?"

Xena's voice was filled with cold disdain. "One of the warlords wanted the towns elder's grand daughter for a wife."

Gabrielle was incredulous. "They sent two armies? For that?"

"It's amazing what some people will do in the name of love, Gabrielle," Xena replied.

"This must have been a side-trip," Gabrielle insisted. "They were going somewhere else and just stopped here along the way."

Xena shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, we stopped them. They won't be joining up with anybody for a long time." But Gabrielle heard a strange hollowness in Xena's voice.

They fell into silence, troubled on Gabrielle's end, as Argo cleared the forest and started across an endless field of short, green grass.

"I watched you," Xena said. "Out there on the field yesterday."

Gabrielle didn't like the strain in Xena's voice, the subtle tightening of muscles beneath her hands as she balanced herself against Xena. Anger flared in her chest. "When are you going to stop looking after me?" she asked tersely. "When are you going to learn that I can take care of myself?"

Xena ignored the questions. "I watched you, and I didn't know whether to be proud or..." She paused.

"Or what?" Gabrielle prodded, her tone harsher than she'd intended. "Jealous?" She couldn't believe she'd just said that, but now she couldn't take it back.

"Frightened," Xena countered.

That nearly knocked Gabrielle off Argo's back. "I don't understand," she said when she finally managed to find her voice, her anger of just moments ago washed away by astonished betrayal. "I...I thought you'd be pleased that I could take care of myself." That you wouldn't need to worry so much about me, Gabrielle added silently.

"You're not a burden to me, Gabrielle," Xena interrupted as if reading her thoughts, but her voice was gentle and warm. "You know that. Besides, you weren't just taking care of yourself on that field yesterday. You were attacking those soldiers."

"It was a battle, Xena," Gabrielle protested. "What was I supposed to do? Invite them to tea?" She was falling back into her habitual defense mechanism of sarcasm, levity to steer the conversation away from an uncomfortable topic. "You should be proud," she insisted. "You're a good teacher."

"I may have taught you too well," Xena replied sadly. "I want you to do something for me, Gabrielle."

"What?" Gabrielle asked warily, bewildered by Xena's strange attitude.

"The next time we go into battle I want you to leave your staff behind."

Gabrielle's eyes widened for a moment in surprise, then a thought dawned on her. "Ah, I get it. You want me to work on my hand-to-hand skills, right?"

"No!" Xena said angrily, nearly shouting. "I want you to tend the wounded. You learned enough at Thessily before you were hurt to do that."

"But--" Gabrielle began to protest, outraged by this. Her place was at Xena's side. She'd trained too long and too hard, learned too much to be anywhere else when Xena needed her.

"I mean it, Gabrielle," Xena said firmly. "Consider it part of your training. I'll cover you while you get the wounded off the field. Set up a triage and take care of them. But I don't want to see a raised weapon in your hands. I don't want you to fight."

"What if I have no choice?" Gabrielle asked, hoping the practicality of battle would make Xena see reason.

Instead, Xena pulled back sharply on the reigns and Argo halted. "Off," Xena ordered, then followed her as soon as Gabrielle slid down to the ground. They stood beside Argo, glaring at each other.

"You're afraid," Gabrielle accused. "Now that I've gotten good you're afraid that I'll go off and leave you. That's it, isn't it, Xena?"

"Yes," Xena said calmly.

"Great," Gabrielle said sarcastically. "You think I'm using you." How could Xena think that after everything they'd been through together, Gabrielle asked herself. She turned to storm off, needing to put distance between herself and Xena for a time.

"I don't think you're using me, Gabrielle," Xena said, catching her arm. When she tried to pull away, Xena tightened her grip. "Listen to me," Xena said. "I am afraid of losing you, and from what I saw yesterday it's already starting to happen."

Gabrielle opened her mouth to speak, to protest this strange request further. But Xena stopped her flow of words with an upraised hand. "Answer a question for me. Why did you attack the soldiers?"

Bewildered, Gabrielle blinked. "They were attacking the village," she said stupidly, not understanding Xena's question at all.

"Did you think that to yourself before you charged off?"

"Yes--no..." Gabrielle sighed and shook her head. "I don't remember. There wasn't time to think."

"Did you feel angry? Outraged? Were you excited?"

Xena's voice was so soft and earnest, her blue eyes so intently on hers that Gabrielle felt an obligation to be as honest as she could. For some reason it was important to Xena. Gabrielle closed her eyes and thought back to that moment on the hill, just before they'd seen the carnage about to unfold below them.

She'd been thinking about Joxar and how glad she was they hadn't seen him in several weeks and hoped they wouldn't see him for several more. Gabrielle shook her head. "I heard you call out and I just acted," she said. There was nothing after that point but the collage of sights and sounds.

And Xena's rough, callused hands on her back and forehead just before the world had dissolved into darkness, a brief glimpse of some distant pain in Xena's eyes. Funny, she had no recollection of that until this moment.

"Reacted, you mean," Xena said, though there was no accusation in her voice. It was uttered only as an observation, with only the barest traces of sorrow to color the tones. "A certain amount of instinct is necessary to be a good fighter," she said. Then abruptly she grasped both of Gabrielle's arms in her hands, her fingers digging into the flesh. "But don't you ever blindly follow me into battle, Gabrielle! Ever!"

It was suddenly so clear. Gabrielle was as aware of what Xena was trying to teach her as she was of the pain of the grip on her arms. As certain of it as she was of the sky overhead, of the grass beneath her feet and the breeze blowing through her hair. It was the clarity that comes from knowing you are alive and for once understanding just what that means.

"Th--that's how two armies can follow one man's whim," she stammered, her earlier question about why the armies had attacked the village echoing and melding in her mind with the question Xena had asked her only moments ago.

"It has to be a choice," Xena said, releasing her. "And it has to be for the right reasons."

Shaken, Gabrielle looked up at Xena. "I trust you to know," she said quietly. It was the truth.

"Trust yourself more, Gabrielle," Xena breathed, her voice so soft it was nearly carried away by the faint breeze that flowed between them. "I've been to the place you're traveling to," Xena said, her voice firmer now, cold self-reproach ringing through every word. "You wear a mask on the outside. Hate, anger, contempt. Whichever one habit has fashioned for you. But inside? Inside, you're dead. You forgot a long time ago why you do the things you do. You just do them because it's what you've been told to do, what you've always done. And there isn't any time to think."

Gabrielle swallowed. "That's how monster's are made," she said, thinking back to a promise she'd once made Xena swear to. Then, realizing that she'd spoken aloud she looked up quickly. "You aren't that person anymore," she said.

"No, I'm not," Xena said with a solemn shake of her head. "And I won't let you become her either."

"I won't," Gabrielle said sincerely, gratefully.

"Promise?" Xena asked quietly after several seconds.

"I promise." Gabrielle reached down and grabbed Xena's hand, squeezing it tightly. "I promise."

A scream split the air, somewhere over to their left, punctuated by the unmistakable clang of sword against shield. Involuntarily, they both turned toward the sound, the moment lost. Then Xena turned and seized Argo's reins, pulling herself onto the horse's back in one smooth motion.

"Just let me get..." Gabrielle started to say, then her voice trailed off. "My staff," she finished lamely, dropping her hands to her sides with an effort. She did not look up at Xena.

Another shriek pierced the air and Argo snorted loudly. "Keep pressure on bleeding wounds, use tourniquets if necessary, and keep everyone warm, right?" Gabrielle asked hurriedly, with forced cheerfulness, as Xena urged Argo into a fast gallop.

There was no hope of keeping up, nor did she try. Gabrielle ran toward the sounds of battle as fast as her legs would carry her, her only intent now to reach the wounded as quickly as possible.